Domestic Duties

I want to write about service this week but my mind becomes overwhelmed with so many thoughts about the concept, I am finding it difficult to begin.  Begin at the beginning then.  In Questioning Your Submission, I defined service as those functions I provide that are of value to Sir:  bondage bottom, willing to wait, openness to new experiences, self-knowledge and self-reflection.  I made it my 2012 goal to understand domestic servitude.  Since Sir and I do not live together, I wrote of the difficulty of connecting any kind of domestic service to Sir, submission, or our relationship even remotely.  I romanticized domestic service to the point of thinking domestic slaves were on the edge of orgasm as they dusted, vacuumed, or scrubbed the bathroom floor (although that vacuuming motion does certainly feel good at times .. Did I just say that?).

I forgot about this goal of mine but over time I recently  connected with my inner domestic slave.  She is a part of me that may not serve Sir but is a valid, kinky part of me that sings with delight at a well-organized, correctly-folded linen closet.  I have to admit watching Downton Abbey brought about this awakening of the domestic slave.  Who cannot watch Carson walking down the correctly appointed table with a ruler measuring silverware placement and not get that tingle?  If only I could be setting that table and then properly punished with that ruler!  OK this is the stuff of fantasy but there is no harm in that.  Watching week after week longing for Sundays finally made this protocol-loving, domestic slave stand up and want to be counted.  I realized that organization and domestic duties are a kinky need of mine despite Sir’s non-involvement.  And with Sir’s approval, it is OK to be me, all of me, without it directly serving Sir, although my overall happiness must be reflected in our relationship.

In that blog post, I wrote “my detachment from domestic service is that Sir does not benefit from my actions” and although true, it does not mean I must deny the existence of a part of me.  I value my domestic duties even though Sir may not directly benefit from them.  I was confusing the concepts of submissive service and my kinky needs.  Sir accepts all of me and I should have realized long ago that he also accepts the parts of me that only I value.  Why did it take so long to acknowledge this domestic kink of  mine?  Anyone with children can answer that quickly with the repetitive daily duties of cleaning the same spot over and over again.  Through the years, I equated the the lack of value by others with my own misunderstanding that domestic affairs were meaningless to me.  It probably took more energy on my part to deny this importance than to actually fight for it because organization and orderliness are important to me (not to the point you can’t live in the house, but …).

I can’t help but feel happiness and peace as I let this part of me blossom as spring awakens after so many years of denial.  It is ultimately about control evolving from my recent post about micromanagement.  If Sir is not in control of an aspect of my life, then I must acknowledge it, accept it, and act on it.  It physically hurts me to be in an environment where no one is in control and now that I feel in control of my domestic duties, I feel the boundary and know Sir’s expectations and power and my own.  This kink of organization and orderliness is not necessarily a Dominant or submissive trait, it just is this feeling inside me that is related to restraint and the peace bondage brings about inside me knowing Sir is in control.  OK I admit others may find this statement strange but this is me.

It is spring and time for spring cleaning and that will make my day.  My house will never look like Downton Abbey but I can smile and look forward to getting out my tarnished silver, polishing it, and pretending.

About bonimiss

bonimiss only found her kinky side in her early 50s and thankfully found Sir shortly after. She is is a long distance journey with Sir and is constantly amazed at the new and exciting experiences and discoveries. You can contact her at bonimiss through the Submissive Guide Community.
This entry was posted in Emotions, Life Skills, Service and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Domestic Duties

  1. ted_subby says:

    That is really something to be glad about, being able to find joy in domestic duties. Even when my Princess tries to kink it up a bit (but not to any extreme) I don’t enjoy domestic service and I do it so that I can remain as her sub or slave.

    I never romanticized it as you did, though. Most every sub or slave has their own submissive fantasies.

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