Favorite Submissive Ritual (SGBHC #9)

Do you have a ritual that reminds you of your submission or your relationship dynamic each and every time you do it? How did it get started? What does the ritual entail?

I am a creature of habit and routine and crave rules and rituals.  I could trace the origin of this kinky need back to my childhood and my formal British relatives or I could just say it is the lure of romantic societal structure in Jane Austin’s novels.  Looking back to my vanilla days, I see how I incorporated rituals into everyday tasks in order to derive that feeling of structure.  I know I love the formality of repeating the same actions and focusing my thoughts on an aspect of our relationship.  It is the predictability that gives me comfort and places limits on my actions and my mental thoughts.  Sir and I have a few rituals that have developed from his rules for me.  For example, saying good night has developed into a series of texts that I expect and find comfort in.

There is also a counting-the-days ritual that I created out of my own need for routine and to insure I prepare properly to meet Sir.  This is my favorite ritual.  Sir and I meet when we can both arrange the time and it is never a 100% guarantee that setting the date means it will happen.  Sir will tell me a percentage and I do not commit myself mentally to meeting until he gives me permission to count the days until the date.  I even use an app on my phone to insure I have the correct number of days (yes I am crazy, :) ).  So what does this ritual entail?  It consists of the following actions:

  • Ask for permission to count the days.  When I receive a yes from Sir, proceed with the remaining steps.
  • Each day, text Sir how many days until we meet.
  • Increase my stretching exercises and note what body parts are tight and focus on them.
  • Two days prior to meeting, pay special attention to my physical presence.  I will do my hair, nails, and take care of anything else concerning my body.
  • One day prior to meeting, check the toys and any other paraphernalia I have.  Get food and drinks.  Gas the car.
  • Morning of meeting, prepare physically, pack the car, and text Sir I am OMW!

In the beginning of our relationship, this preparation was merely a list of things to do to insure I didn’t forget anything.  Over time, each action though became embodied with certain thoughts and mental preparation.  The now ritualized actions help me overcome my fears and doubts as the date gets closer.  I can never predict my reaction to permission to count the days.  Typically by that point, I have accepted waiting and the routine of my life apart from Sir.  I can’t help feeling resentful that my life is being intruded on by Sir’s directive and yet at the same time, immense joy, anticipation, and relief.  Permission to count releases me from controlling myself and waiting and I dispense with resentment and get giddy with delight.

My mental preparation goes through various ups and downs over the subsequent days.  What is in Sir’s mind?  I wonder if I will show up?  I wonder how I will act?  I wonder what will happen?  I love this mystery of not knowing and the unpredictability but I also need purpose to remind me of Sir’s ownership.  The counting forces me into the present and reminds me I am not in control and that he owns me and I should not doubt myself or our relationship.  As our relationship has matured, I have relied more and more on this action in order to believe in myself, to contain my fear but also my excitement.   It is all I can do to function when he replies to the count.   It is a simple thing yet it is like standing in line for the roller coaster.  I must wait my turn.

The remaining steps keep me busy and insure I don’t forget anything.  The excitement I feel as the date approaches makes my mind fuzzy and it is difficult to focus and stay still.  Sometimes I feel so rebellious and want what I want right NOW.  Why must I keep waiting!?  My preparation saves me many times from punishment.  But sometimes I feel myself accepting my role in our relationship and my actions fill me with a sense of wonder and joy in our relationship.  It is almost a kind of pre-subspace and my body and mind are so ready and so willing.  I know my actions have purpose and I hope Sir will be pleased with the result.

Perhaps my ritual appears more like a to-do list but it is my way of preparing to meet that also prepares my mind.  My actions force my mind to comply and to set aside the aspects of my personality that like control.  My actions keep my hands and mind busy so there is less room for fear and doubt.  My actions will please Sir and give the minutes until meeting purpose.  As the date gets closer, my actions reinforce Sir owns me and this is the way it is.   This ritual has grown with me as I have matured in our relationship and now it is a part of me.

About bonimiss

bonimiss only found her kinky side in her early 50s and thankfully found Sir shortly after. She is is a long distance journey with Sir and is constantly amazed at the new and exciting experiences and discoveries. You can contact her at bonimiss through the Submissive Guide Community.
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2 Responses to Favorite Submissive Ritual (SGBHC #9)

  1. Pingback: Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge #9 | Your Favorite Submissive Ritual | pet's journey

  2. Pingback: SGBHC #9 | Your Favorite Submissive Ritual | Submissive Guide

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