My Ultimate Fantasy

30 Days of Kink Day 15: Post a BDSM/kinky activity you’re curious about and would like to try.

Ever since I read Carrie, I have been obsessed with the idea of pony play.  I only learned of the existence of pony play in the last few years as the breadth of my kinky knowledge has spread beyond the obvious.  Of course, my fascination with horses started at an early age with games of pretending to be a horse.  My favorite stuffed animals were horses and puppies but my kinky obsession only tends towards pony play not necessarily pet play.  Every Christmas and birthday, the first thing on my list was a horse.  My parents tried to satisfy this “horsey” need with lessons and opportunities to ride, but it was never enough for me.  Curiously, my fantasies were not singularly fixated on being a horse but also controlling the horse with whips and spurs.  Later on in my late 20′s, I did get a horse and participate in show competitions.  But it was those moments of brushing her, feeding her an apple, braiding her mane and tail and her nuzzling me back that I miss most.  And yes, the smell of manure, leather, and horse is wonderful to me.

Once I read Carrie and learned about pony play, the memories of my early childhood dreams of being a horse came flooding back with a vengeance.  There is an old horse track where I run and I can’t help running around the track imagining a bit in mouth, naked pulling a little cart with Sir flicking the whip at my buttocks.  I often smile and giggle and most passing runners must wonder why.  I can almost imagine the feel of the harness and the weight of the cart and Sir as I run and wonder if I have the strength.  But I also can’t help imagining rebelling and wanting my freedom, being that horse on the plains viewing the horizon and not wanting to be captured but finally yielding my spirit to this strange, 2-legged creature that needs me and wants the best for me.  It is the symbolism of pony play that draws me in … the containment of that wild, passionate energy and surrendering it to that one Master who knows its value and treasures it.  I yearn for not just the physical challenge and difficult mental surrender but also the aftercare following a pony play session and the ability to nuzzle Sir as he rubs me down and perhaps feeds me an apple.

Is this something I truly desire or a fantasy of environment and opportunity of permission?  There is the reality of me who would be totally humiliated and ashamed of my fantasy made real.  I do not deal well with humiliation and wonder if mentally I could surrender in this situation.  If presented with the opportunity to participate in pony play, there is a part of me that might get “into it” but is the reality of the situation a burden I can’t shed?  I feel tremendous shame just contemplating a bit in my mouth .. shame that I desire this, shame that society in general would think me insane.  I think, would I cry hysterically and disappoint Sir and simply refuse with intense rebellion?   But this fantasy is always at the edge of my thoughts teasing me and sometimes propelling me to the pony play groups to look for a trainer.  I believe some fantasies are meant to remain fantasies but whether this is true of pony play for me, I just don’t know.

About bonimiss

bonimiss only found her kinky side in her early 50s and thankfully found Sir shortly after. She is is a long distance journey with Sir and is constantly amazed at the new and exciting experiences and discoveries. You can contact her at bonimiss through the Submissive Guide Community.
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One Response to My Ultimate Fantasy

  1. Ted_subby says:

    Cool fantasy! I have never had fantasies about pony play until the past half year when I started reading BDSMLibrary.com fictional stories and it seems like a great way to give in to submission and feel very owned.

    I agree, though, that the reality of it would likely be very difficult. I don’t worry much about the humiliation because that’s a positive in my book but I’m no spring chicken and I imagine it would be very taxing to be a pony!

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